you will learn the best way to wash a sea lion's eyeballs. it is with power tools

Chef Brian quote of the day: "The team found ways to prevent monkeys rejecting organ transplants from pigs, paving the way for the use of animal organs and cells in humans to replace cells ravaged by illnesses such as Parkinson's and diabetes."

Looks like Bill O'Reilly, having run out of ideas, has declared war on Rhode Island concerning sex offender laws (being that, thanks to his exposé on NAMBLA that made him seem like a journalist and gave him the ratings he has now, he's a champion in these matters). Being that all we have is a patrol boat (Hell, Mass. has a battleship, Conn. a destroyer) and Bill O'Reilly is like a One-Man Army discerning lies (ok, bad OLP reference there) with an M1A1 Abrams armed with frickin laser beams and lightsabers (I know, it makes no sense, but he'd prolly figure out a way to arm them with that) or an AT-AT, I'm gonna make like a panda and sit this one out.

(the following is written due to lack of sleep, not really anything else)

They say that the worst part about taking drugs is not so much taking them, but the point when the drugs wear off. Being on methamphetamines for a good part of 5 to 7 years, I can agree.

But I can say there's prolly one thing that's worse: Waking up in the morning, especially when you've only gotten a couple of hours of sleep.

They say alcohol sometimes brings out the worst in humanity. I say waking up in this shape always brings out the worst in humanity.

Why?

Cos every thought begins to fester, amalgamate, and ferment into shape, and oftentimes these thoughts are very dark and crazy.

It makes you want to scream.

It makes you want to throw someone through a pane glass window.

For all the shit that's happening, you are so fucking helpless.

Unfortunately, there is no place to scream. There is no place to throw anyone through a pane glass window. And by the way, it is really hard, unless you are an olympic (or paralympic...clack clack clack) runner, to run or throw yourself into a pane glass window.

So you can't do anything, and you let your anger fester, wanting desparately to release like a beautiful virgin.

There's not much you can do, really. You can only hope to calm yourself by the time you reach the office or classroom, so as to not punch someone in the face.

Perhaps I'm a bit lucky. Carrying my CDs, I can calm myself by listening. I let myself scream the lyrics on the inside. Maybe even dance. Especially when a song is one of those songs you can wake up to (see Bloc Party's "Like Eating Glass," Interpol's "Untitled/Obstacle 1," etc.).

In the end though, it seems like the most truthful aspect of people that they hide, the anger and hatred, comes out through this part of the day. Every thought, not being sugarcoated with protective rhetoric, seems to be true and on target.

[rant off.....even tho that it doesn't make sense]

On a final note, it's both sad and pathetically amusing when you read a strip like this, and you understand the entire strip.

That's all for now. Until next time, remember...napalm is NATURE'S toothpaste!